Election Day Blahs

Over the past three weeks all the local temporary electioneering signs have gone up along the country roads were I live. The signs are all of the professionally printed kind which hang between two wire legs. They are inserted into the front lawns and/or along the sides of the roads. "ELECT Lou Hatch" or "For Town Board- Brenda Adams" and so on.*

I am uncertain if the signs which appear at the fronts of different mom and pop businesses signify the political leanings of the owners or if they are simply accessible areas for signage. Sometimes as many as a dozen signs are lined up in a dense row along the roadway - each for a different town or country office and/or person in shades of red white and blue. Very boring. Very ugly. Very invasive. Very stupid.

I am reminded of the old Burma Shave signs that one used to come across in the most out of the way places along the roadways when I was a child. I loved them...everyone did. They were clever, intelligent, silly and fun to find. My first (and nearly my last...I continue to enjoy "I love LA" billboards in Hollywood) positive encounter with outdoor advertising. The "hit you over the head" approach of unsightly enormous billboards is nothing to compare with the finesse of the old Burma Shave adverts. For those who don't know - the Burma Shave ads were in the form of poems, a word or short phrase on each sequential sign...spaced out along the side of the road so that you read the short message as you drove by ending with a Burma Shave logo. These were small highway signs, low to the ground, wood, painted nicely, not more than a foot and a half wide....wonderful little rhyming ditties. Here's one featured on wikipedia.org.

"Her chariot
Raced 80 per
They hauled away
what had
Ben Hur -
Burma Shave"

Ahhhh....that one is really good folks. Many of the little messages were about driving safely. And others were about the product....a shaving creme. Here's one of the personal hygiene slogans:

"Henry the Eighth
sure had trouble
short-term wives
long-term stubble -
Burma-Shave"

All were quirky and funny.

And so...what's wrong with local (and regional and national) political signage? Well yes, it stinks. The content is as boring as, dare I say it, the folks running for office. As election days approach the public is bombarded with stupid messages and horrible design...and we are supposed to entrust our government into the hands of these people who can't even create an engaging, intelligent or funny sign?

Haven't we learned
what you see
is what you get ?

Can you imagine if what we saw along the roadway was something like:

Hatchs have been here
for quite awhile
200 plus years
in Canaanite style.
Good law and order
with nary a smile
Lou be the judge
the other guy's vile.
Lou Hatch - town justice.

or

You know her
she's real bright-

she'll hammer
the board
with all her might.

Brenda Adams -
is town Board right!

And, more important we need to use creative signage and adverts to get the bad eggs out of the basket...so, how about:

BE REAL WARY
of tricky Gary
He can't count
the budget amount
Best tide the flow
of Canaan's dough
We gotta' take measure
and let Gary go.

I'd rather smile at the candidates' slogans than grimace at them. On a national scale...the only difference is the amount of money being spent. The messages are all equally lame. Why are these people so dull? Remember.....

Be real wary / of tricky Gary !

Four or was it six years ago, both parties approached me about helping them graphically - with their "message". For a designer that means doing free work. It's a thankless job. Someone always ends up being angry or hurt or slighted. Usually that's me. There are no credits rolled at the end of an event or an election. The organizers, the politicians take in the accolades for themselves and keep them. Nonetheless I attempted to help both groups with what I considered were the issues at hand by discussing local perceptions with the major candidates. I didn't want to foolishly alienate my local government. But over the years I've learned to not expect much from them. I'll write about my $75,000 culvert another time.

But sadly or realistically, over time, I've learned our local politicians, just as our national ones, don't usually represent a common interest for the good of the community. In local politics as in national politics...only the vested interest of the politician's personal objectives is what will actually be realized during their tenure. In reaction, these days I represent my own vested interests. I promote what I think is important. I do the labor myself. I promote the cause myself. I ask the questions which have to be asked and assemble the issues which have to be reviewed in my community. I put my opinions in the face of other local residents in the way I know best. I don't run for office and put out stupid red, white and blue signs on the country highways for 5 weeks a year in compliance with the town's signage rules. I use the 24/7 electronic highway instead. Take a look at SaveCanaanCountry.com sometime to see what I mean.

So Susan's savvy /
although she's unseen /
neither town hack /
nor local queen /
stoppin' stupid strip malls /
and keepin' Canaan green/
for flora and fauna/
and everyone in between!**

What would you rather read?
Don't forget to vote...

* I'm not sure who's running for what exactly....I'll know before I vote and you can be damn sure I'm going to vote.

** I would love to print and erect my own Burma-Shave type signage along the highway if it was affordable. I think one could really communicate effectively along the roadways of our towns and villages, cities and counties, states and countries and bring back free creative speech to our roads. However, thus far, the Internet superhighway is the only pathway affordable.

Dream forth to
a ride to come
where speech is free
along asphalt's run